


No rest

by pamymex3girl



Series: Doctor who contest drabbles & oneshots [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-25 08:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/950844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamymex3girl/pseuds/pamymex3girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can rest when you're dead, they say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No rest

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the drabble contest on livejournal. Prompt was rest. 
> 
> Don't own anything.

There is always _something_ – a case, a distraction, something that is threatening to destroy the fabric of the world they live in.

And his friends, his companions, the people that pass in and out of his life at a dizzying speed as if it’s nothing; they _drag_ him along, into a life and a world he never even _asked_ for.

(And they are always there, in ever lifetime, in ever world – the random stranger, the friend that wants to help, the co-worker, the lover. They blend together in the end, becoming one, until a time comes that he can no longer keep them apart no matter how much he tries – and _oh God_ does he try.)

And it’s not just the bad things, it’s the good things too: it’s the fun and the laughter and movies and dancing and they want him _there._ They desperately want him to be a part of their lives, their world – they don’t understand, they _can’t_ (the things to be grateful for) that he never will be, that he never can be. That he’s just a sad, lonely man that shouldn’t exist passing through their lives without being a part of _anything._

He stops – because cases, cases are one thing but this is too much – and turns away, determined not to be drawn in, determined not to _feel._ (Not like the Doctor who lets them all in and loves them and then _screams_ and _cries_ when they leave and they _always_ leave.) But they’re there and they want him and he just stands and asks ‘don’t you ever get tired, don’t you ever just stop?’ And they smile then, so ignorant and say: “It’s alright Jack we can rest when we’re dead.”

(And _they_ can, of course _they_ can.)

He can’t even _rest_ anymore, can’t even sleep.

Because when he closes his eyes, when he rests, he sees it all, he hears it all – the memories even the ones that have slipped away (and he knows, he knows he’s forgotten more than he remembers.) They overwhelm him and it’s all _there_ , when he rests, when his eyes are closes, it’s just a big mess that no longer makes sense. (Someday it will drive him _insane_ if it hasn’t already.) This, this must be why the Doctor never sleeps because it’s all there in the dark, the Doctor would _understand._ (Jack hates him and he loves him to.)

There is another saying to: ‘There’s no rest for the wicked.’ But he does not know, does not understand why he too can’t rest. He was a hero once, he knows, he fought at the right side, he died for _him_ (his Doctor), he died for _her_ (his Rose.)

But his friends, his co-workers do not understand.

They say: ‘You can rest when you’re dead.’

And he falls, he’s shot, he’s stabbed, he dies a million different deaths – some he didn’t even know existed…

…and he wakes.

There is no rest for him.

There never will be.


End file.
